Dear Unofficial Members of the Margaret Corbin Provisional Horseshoe Pitching League:
It is with a tint of sadness that I must announce that I will step down as the self-elected president of the Margaret Corbin Provisional Horseshoe Pitching League effective immediately. My reason, of course, is that I want to spend more time with my family. But seriously, I have simply gotten too busy and my life continues to become more and more complicated. So, I believe that for the good of the league, it is simply best for me to just step down.
Additionally, I am a bit ashamed that I have not been able to be a better role model for the next generation of horseshoe pitchers. This is because, even though I have shown up at nearly every game, I still really suck at horseshoes. Even with quite a bit of practice, I still cannot throw a horseshoe any better than if my score was attributable to nothing more than just dumb luck.
This failing has not been for the lack of effort. For with the intention to better myself, I have successively tried different grips and footwork. I have tried the grip from the top edge which requires the number of vertical rotations to be divisible by two. I have tried the top side grip which requires a horizontal rotation of 1-1/4 turns and the bottom side grip which requires either a -3/4 or 1-1/2 horizontal rotation. But try as I might, I have not been able to better my game. So, I think it is best to resign before the shame simply becomes too much.
Overall, I do think it was a good run. While horseshoe pitching has not yet taken upper Manhattan by storm, as I had hoped, I did essentially accomplish what I set out to do.
When I found the horseshoe pits, they were overgrown with formidable weeds and hadn’t been used for years and years. But there, I saw a huge potential in transforming that space into a place where men could go to relax and break park rules by sneaking in a pint or two. Turns out that what I particularly liked doing was the grounds cleanup and gardening. And while I did not succeed in getting flowers to grow everywhere, I do feel that the seed has been planted for a more flowery future. The simple transformation from nothing to at least sort-of something, represents nearly everything that I had hoped to attain. And with a little effort going forward, the pits can be enjoyed by men who want another excuse to go drinking for generations to come.
Even though the end of my tenure as self-elected president is coming to an end, it also represents a beginning for me, as I have been invited by ArtemisNYC.org to be their guest blogger. In this role, I do hope to enlighten at least some readers about important lessons in life that can be learned from pitching horseshoes. And it’s vice versa.
And for now, even though I am no longer self-elected president, I will continue to provide horseshoes for anyone who wants to show up on Fridays starting about 6:45, at least for the rest of of September.
So this is clearly not yet adieu but au revoir.
See you in the pits.
––Dean Heagle: Former President (self-elected), Margaret Corbin Provisional Horseshoe Pitching League